


Recovering More than They'd Lost

by lemonadepluto



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Amputee Lance (Voltron), Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Baggage, Emotional Hurt, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Flashbacks, Friendship/Love, Head Injury, Hunk (Voltron) Knows All, Hunk (Voltron) is a Good Friend, Hurt Keith (Voltron), Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Laughter, Love, Love Confessions, M/M, Night Terrors, Nightmares, Post Season 7, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Sad and Happy, Sleepy Cuddles, Suicide, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-05
Updated: 2018-10-27
Packaged: 2019-07-25 11:37:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 16,897
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16196765
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lemonadepluto/pseuds/lemonadepluto
Summary: A collection of scenes that take place just after season seven.With all their downtime that comes after defeating Sendak and the robeast, the paladins experience healing, developing relationships, and unearthing secrets."No more words needed to be said as Lance gently wiped the final few tears from Shiro’s cheeks, then pulled him close into an embrace. Shiro returned the hug firmly, burying his face into Lance’s collarbone. Lance added a light squeeze to the hug, glad that he was able to provide this feeling of safety to the man he admired and possibly loved.""With how turbulent his life had been, and with the added big change of being back on Earth, Keith couldn’t help but appreciated the strong constant that Hunk was becoming in his life. Hunk was carefree, never worrying that his work might be getting behind. His friends, his teammates, his family always came first."





	1. Pressure

**Author's Note:**

> We start in the hospital at the Galaxy Garrison.  
> All of the Paladins but Keith have woken up since the crash that ended their previous battle. And as Keith does finally awake, complications occur.

Keith didn’t think he could open his eyes. It was much too bright out there anyways. If only he could sink back into the warmth of sleep… 

 

His mind didn’t let him. He found panic rising through his body, adrenaline pushing away any sleepiness he had left. He opened his eyes, shooting into a seated position. His eyes couldn’t focus on anything. Nor could his brain. All he knew was the urge to get out. To escape. He had to get out of here. 

  
  


* * *

  
  


Hunk took his time returning to his room. He still wasn’t fully healed from the crash. Sendak, and then that giant robot had really done a number on the team.

 

Hunk reached up, gently stretching through his spine as he walked back from the restroom. He mindlessly considered what he’d do upon returning to his room. He thought about contacting his mom, maybe asking for some of her signature white chocolate macadamia nut cookies. He’d share them with everyone else who was awake and healing. But in the meantime, maybe a nap was what his afternoon had in store. 

 

The sound of fast moving feet down the hall caused Hunk to stop in his tracks, confused as to who would be running their way through a hospital wing. His feet instinctively started moving towards the sound though, after he heard a slam coming from the same direction. He’d feel wrong if he didn’t go and investigate. After all, they’d been saving people for a few years now, as paladins of Voltron. It was his nature to do so. Hunk grumbled a bit at his instincts though. That nap would have to wait.  _ It’s just until a nurse shows up _ , he told himself.

 

Hunk continued down the hall, passing his own room in search for the source of the noise. And when he found it, it made his heart leap up into his throat. He found Keith, slumped against a wall, struggling to stand. Hunk ran over to his fellow paladin’s side as quick as he could. He knew something wasn’t right. Keith hadn’t been awake prior to this. 

 

“Hey, Keith,” Hunk spoke, concerned, as he positioned himself into Keith’s line of vision. “What’s happening?” 

 

Keith’s distant eyes spun with fear and uncertainty, filling the air around Keith’s head. 

 

“I gotta get out of here,” Keith spoke way too fast, repeating his words as many times as he could, as if their meaning could get lost in the couple feet of space between his and Hunk’s heads. “I gotta get out of here. I gotta get out of here.”

 

“Keith?” Hunk started. He was going to say something, but nothing came out, his words soft and unsure. He opted to bring his hands out, gingerly placing them on Keith’s shoulders. It was, over all, a sorry attempt at trying to ground his friend. 

 

Keith startled at the sudden contact. After a moment of shock, he pulled away. He barely knocked the wall behind him with his head as he moved, but it was enough. Hunk watched as Keith pulled himself into a ball, his hands gripping into his hair and scalp. Keith started shaking violently, groaning out with pain. 

 

Keith had sustained a horrible head injury from his crash. It was what lead him to be the last of the paladins to wake up, and Hunk knew this. And from Keith’s current state, it was clear that it was far from being finished healing. 

 

“Hey,” Hunk reached out, even more cautiously this time, “Let’s get you back to your room so we can call a nurse--”

 

“NO!” Keith shot up before Hunk could even make contact, darting a little ways down the hallway before being stopped again by his pain. He hung his head over, tears streaking down his face, holding his palms to his temples as tight as he could. “I can’t - I’m - I’m not going back there. I have to get out.” He forced out his words, trembling as he spoke.

 

Hunk once again moved towards him, noticing the strain and tension through Keith’s forehead, and tears marking dirty streaks down his hot cheeks. It was all Hunk could do to keep himself from succumbing to the panic. Whatever was going on in Keith’s head, it had to do with his injury. Hunk knew this and needed to be sure his friend was okay.

 

Hunk took a step forward, close enough that he reach out and touch the black paladin. “You know who you are right?” Hunk held his breath, hoping for a positive answer. 

 

“Why should I tell you that?” Keith snapped back, his teeth gritted. Whether it was through panic or pain, Hunk wasn’t sure.

 

“Because I’m your friend and I want to help you.” Hunk inched a little closer with each word. 

 

Keith gave no response to Hunk’s statement. So Hunk opted to try again, with a different question. He needed to break through to Keith somehow. He needed to make sure his friend was going to be okay.

 

“Keith…” Hunk spoke slowly, carefully choosing each word. “Do you know who I am?”

 

“Yes I-” Keith growled, but stopped. Hunk watched as his eyes darted across the linoleum flooring, digging through the mess that was currently his mind. Suddenly, Keith began to move his gaze up and towards Hunk, painfully aware of how the movement was affecting his injured head. As Keith studied Hunk’s face, his eyes became more clear, more present. He paused, searching through his brain once more, before finally parting his lips to speak. “Hunk?” he emitted, sorrow lining his tone.

 

Keith’s moment of clarity led the throbbing in his head to become even more explicit. Hunk shifted his own weight as he saw knees buckle, followed by a body starting to collapse. Keith’s body heavily collided with Hunk’s own. The boy’s dead weight in his arms was too disturbing to not pay attention to as Hunk lowered himself and Keith to the ground. 

 

Keith, once again violently shaking, attempted to mutter something. Whatever he said wasn’t coherent to Hunk’s hears. Hunk gently asked him to repeat himself, but Keith never did, choosing to instead express his pain through gasps and grunts. 

 

Hunk squeezed Keith closer with one arm, moving his other to rest on Keith’s head. Keith flinched once again, only this time much weaker, as Hunk ran his fingers through his hair. Hunk’s breath caught in his throat as he felt Keith resist his dislike of contact, sinking into the comfort of Hunk’s warm body.

 

Hunk knew he had to eventually get Keith back to his room and call a nurse, but for right now, he decided he’d stay here a little longer. Despite the pain, Keith was finally calming down. Hunk wasn’t sure how much clarity was actually in Keith’s mind - Hunk could possibly be the only thing that Keith knew right now. But it was better than full on panic and fear. 

 

The yellow paladin shifted how he was sitting, getting ready to bring Keith back to his room. As he gently extracted the boy from his arms, he noticed something that made his heart ache. A large, bright purple bruise laced it’s way through the middle of Keith’s left arm. Hunk winced a little, thinking of how Keith must’ve ripped his IV out in his desperation, causing this extra injury. 

 

Keith didn’t seem all that responsive at this time, Hunk took it upon himself to hoist the shaking boy up into his arms. 

 

* * *

  
  
  


Hunk did his best to keep Keith in place as the nurse attempted to reinsert the IV, but it was no use. Keith was just too good at combat, and it was so ingrained into his nature that even his pained state couldn’t stop him. 

 

The nurse yelped out in shock at Keith’s sudden outburst, and Hunk found himself moving to block the door, insuring that the paladin stayed inside the room. He didn’t have to though, as Keith didn’t get very far before collapsing onto the floor. 

 

The nurse moved to assist Keith, but Hunk held a hand up, urging her to stay where she was. He didn’t want Keith to freak out more than he already was. 

 

Hunk got down onto the floor with Keith, leaning down so he could see his face.

 

“Trashcan.” Keith muttered, almost too silent and muffled to hear.

 

Hunk wasn’t sure what he meant, no if he heard correctly, and replied with a simple “huh?”

 

“Trashcan.” Keith demanded through his distress, much louder this time.

 

Hunk understood, quickly looking up to locate the item of Keith’s request. The nurse obviously heard too, and was on her way back from retrieving the plastic bucket from the other side of the bed. She placed it carefully down next to Hunk, who slid it closer to Keith. 

 

Upon seeing the bin in front of him, Keith’s hands swung up to grab it, and lifted his head up and above. A small amount of bile exited his mouth. His stomach twitched and constricted painfully. All of the pressure in his head was forcing him to throw up, but there was nothing in his stomach to do so. Hunk rubbed his hand up and down Keith’s back as he coughed and gagged in pain. Slowly, but surely, Keith’s spluttering subsided.

 

“How are you feeling?” Hunk asked softly once silence had fallen over the room.

 

Keith answered by weakly pushing away the trash can and groaning. 

 

“Do you think you can lay back down on the bed for me?”

 

Keith kept his head down, not answering.

 

Hunk sighed inwardly, not liking this answer. “I know you’re confused, and your head hurts. We’re just trying to help you, okay?”

 

Keith let out the smallest hum.

 

“I’m not going away, okay? I won’t let anyone harm you.” Hunk didn’t wait for a response this time, immediately, but gently, lifting Keith’s arm up and over his shoulders. Hunk’s other arm laced behind Keith’s back and just below his opposite armpit, gripping firmly, ready to stand him up. Keith protested, unwilling to put any weight on his feet. It was a good thing that Hunk was strong, and Keith weighed even less than usual due to not eating as he slept. Soon enough, Keith was back on the hospital bed, his eyes as distant and fuzzy as they started out. 

 

Hunk sat on the edge of the bed, and sent a nod to the nurse. He grabbed Keith’s hand, providing a physical reminder that he was safe. 

 

“The nurse is just going to put the IV back in, okay?”

 

Keith nodded ever so slightly.

 

The nurse took Hunk’s cue, and got to work, manipulating Keith’s hand much more gently than she had the previous time. In just a few seconds, the IV was in, dodging the darkening bruise.

 

“You’re not going to pull this one out, do you understand, Keith?”

 

Keith let himself gently nod again, though Hunk wasn’t sure that any of his words were actually entering his mind. 

 

The nurse reapproached the two paladins with a syringe in her hand. She quietly mentioned to Hunk that it was a sedative. Hunk nodded in approval as the nurse went to inject it into Keith’s arm. Keith didn’t even react anymore. Hunk was glad, in a way. With Keith calming down, he wasn’t able to hurt himself anymore. But to see his friend so unresponsive hurt him in more ways than he could describe. 

 

Hunk squeezed Keith’s hand in his own, taking in everything he could about the feeling. Keith’s hands were calloused from the constant hand to hand combat he partook in. The bones of his knuckles stood out, defined by a minor lack of nutrition. Hunk breathed into small amount of pressure that Keith gave back into the hand hold. He was here. He was alive.

 

Hunk snapped out of it when he heard a small gasp. He glanced up to see the nurse punching a code into the callbox on the wall, alerting a doctor to come to the room immediately. 

 

“What’s going on?” Hunk asked before he could even process what was going on, squeezing Keith’s hand even tighter.  

 

The nurse looked from the callbox to Hunk, assessing if it was okay to tell him. She surmised that since there was nothing for her to do until a doctor arrived, that it was okay to explain it to him.

 

She sighed, preparing herself to keep her voice steady. “Only one of his pupils is dilated.”

 

Hunk turned to look at Keith. His eyelids were drooping from the sedative, but the difference in his pupils was still clear. One was much larger than the other. 

 

Hunk turned back to the nurse, begging for more information as he rubbed his thumb over Keith’s prominent knuckles. 

 

“It can be a sign of hemorrhage or swelling in the brain.” The nurse stopped talking there, forcing herself to busy herself in something else. She stared at the bags of fluids connected to Keith’s IV, and studied them unnecessarily.

 

Hunk couldn’t stop his worryful tears from sliding down his cheeks. 

 

* * *

  
  
  


“Hey,” Shiro spoke brightly as he sat down next to Hunk on the cold waiting room bench. “Aren’t you supposed to be waiting in your room?” He said with a small joking tone, a light smile sitting across his face. Shiro was doing a good job at hiding his distress. But it was what he needed to do as he held his high rank as captain of the Atlas. 

 

Hunk gave him a sad grin back. “I couldn’t leave him alone like that. They’re saying I’ll be discharged soon anyways.” he looked down, staring at his hands in his lap. 

 

“I’m sorry,” Shiro’s voice began to quaver, “that I couldn’t be here earlier.” Guild was dripping from his tone. 

 

“Don’t worry about it,” Hunk reassured, “We know you’re busy and stuff.” He paused, preferring conversation over silence. “Krolia did come for a while. I think she went off to a training room somewhere after a bit. Work off some stress and all?” Hunk forced himself to let out a light laugh. “At least we know where Keith gets it from now.”

 

Shiro didn’t respond, sitting in silence. Hunk looked over him, almost begging him to say something. He’d been sitting here quietly for too long. He wanted to hear something. 

 

“So…” Shiro began, hesitant, “They didn’t really tell me anything other than that he went in for surgery.” He stopped, seeing if Hunk would chime in without anymore explanation. When Hunk didn’t immediately speak up, he continued. “I was wondering if you had anymore information?”

 

Hunk threw a hand over his eyes, as they threatened to tear up again. “He woke up and freaked out,” Hunk began, his voice strangely low. “I found him in the hallway. He kept on saying he wanted to escape… or something. I dunno. He just - he wasn’t good. I think all that sudden movement wasn’t good for his injury. The doctor said his brain was swelling real bad. Something about relieving pressure? I dunno.”

 

The two continued to sit in silence as the light from the windows slowly turned into way too bright LEDs from the ceiling. 

 

Sleep was ready to take over the two men sitting in the waiting room, when a doctor, equally as tired, joined them.

 

“You two must be waiting for Keith Kogane, yes?” The doctor smiled, recognizing them as his patient’s teammates. 

 

Hunk and Shiro looked up at the doctor, wide-eyed and ready to hear whatever he had to say. Whether it was positive or negative didn’t matter as much right now as being able to hear any news at all. 

 

“You’ll be able to sleep easy tonight,” the doctor beamed, “the surgery was highly successful.” He stopped, allowing his good news to fully process in everyone’s minds.

 

Hunk let his tears loose at this statement.

 

“Although, we have had to put him in a medically induced coma, to allow him to properly heal uninhibited. It shouldn’t be more than three weeks at most.”

 

“Can we see him?” Shiro asked before Hunk had the chance to.

 

“He’s asleep, but of course. You can see him for a moment.”

 

Once they got confirmation that he was back in the same room as before, Shiro and Hunk were off down the halls.

 

The room was dark, but no one chose to turn on the lights. It was if doing so would disturb Keith’s rest, even though his sleep was medically induced. 

 

Keith lay with his head turned away from the door, keeping pressure off of where the incision was made. Parts of his hair was shaved away, his mullet gone. In place of it was a messy, high undercut. On the back of his head was a large white patch, covering whatever stitches lay below. 

 

Shiro considered that Keith wouldn’t be impressed by his new haircut, but that didn’t really matter now. What mattered was that everyone was here, and everyone was okay. 


	2. The Big Dipper

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shiro has been assisting Lance with his physical therapy since he woke up in the hospital, having lost his left leg in the crash. Being amputee buddies, they've now been becoming a lot closer.   
> Taking place about a month after the previous chapter, Lance finds himself with a bought of insomnia. This luckily puts him in the right place at the right time.

It was late, and, of course, Lance found himself unable to sleep. It was nothing out of the ordinary these days though. Ever since he got out of the hospital, he constantly found himself wandering the halls of the Garrison during the early hours of the morning. Walking barefoot, the sound of Lance’s singular metal heel hitting against the tile floors rang out through the hallways. But Lance didn’t care. He doubted anyone would actually be able to hear it. It seemed that everyone but him had been getting the most amazing rests each night now that the war was nearly over. Everyone would be too sound asleep to hear.

 

What was more dire was the fact that Lance was alone, walking by himself. He knew it was a relatively bad choice. He still wasn’t entirely used to his new leg, and if something were to happen, no one would be able to help him back to his dorm. 

 

Despite this, he kept up his late night strolls, finding peace within the quiet walls of the sleeping Garrison. Everything was so hectic during the day - this moment of loneliness provided some clarity to Lance’s constantly spinning mind.

 

Lance found it hard to admit to himself the reasons for his sleeplessness. He knew, in the back of his mind, that it was okay for his thinking to be a bit shaken up, considering all he went through both in space and back here on Earth. He wouldn’t let himself even think about though that it could be more than just any old minor anxiety. The concept of PTSD felt way too far away from who he was. He never even thought of it. It was something that happened to characters he saw in movies. Not to him. Not to a boy who hadn’t quite even reached the age of 20 yet.

 

Rounding a corner, Lance had discovered that he’d made his way towards where Shiro’s suite was located. He had been able to move back into the same place he lived before left for Kerberos, many of his things left in place. 

 

Lance had intended to continue past Shiro’s door, not wanting to disturb the snoozing captain, but his initial plans had changed. As Lance neared towards the door, he began to hear something. There was a shifting of feet, and… was that crying?

 

Without even thinking, Lance went to open the door to Shiro’s room. He’d been spending a lot of time with his older teammate recently - Shiro had cheerfully offered to assist Lance with his physical therapy after his left leg was lost in the crash. It was only natural with their newfound closeness that Lance had learned the code to Shiro’s room somewhere along the way.

 

After punching in the correct numbers, Lance carefully pushed open the door, letting his instincts take the wheel. 

 

All the lights were off, but the sound of muffled tears alerted Lance in the direction he needed to go. Two steps in, and he stopped, nearly tripping over something. Lance crouched over, picking up an end table that appeared to have been knocked over. As he placed it back next to the couch it came from, his attention was averted to a framed photograph on the floor. 

 

It was a picture of Shiro and another man, arms wrapped around each other's shoulders, smiles beaming bright. Lance studied it for a moment before returning it to the end table. He had heard Shiro mention a guy named Adam.  _ Was this him? _ Lance assumed he was his best friend, or roommate or something. It didn’t matter right now. All Lance knew was it would be bad to leave the picture on the floor. 

 

Lance continued on past the couch, heading towards the kitchenette, where he heard the hidden noises coming from. The continued upturned state of the apartment didn’t escape Lance’s perception. Pillows from the couch were strewn about. Papers and books from the coffee table found themselves blown about the floor. Shiro must’ve had a really bad nightmare. 

 

The team had known about Shiro’s nightmares for sometime now, but the black paladin turned captain always shrugged them off as nothing to worry about. Lance doubted Shiro’s words in this moment.

 

In the kitchen space sat Shiro, sobbing, curled up as small as he could get, his fingers gripping firmly into his hair. Lance’s heart ached at the sight. He wanted nothing more than to wrap his hero up in a big hug and tell him that everything was okay. And he nearly did just that, but his better judgement came to mind. Shiro had clearly torn through his living room. Lance didn’t want to startle him. He didn’t want him to lash out.

 

“Shiro?” Lance spoke softly, barely breaking through the silence of the room. 

 

It was just enough.

 

At the sound, Shiro’s head shot up to look at whoever had called his name. Red and wet eyes bore into Lance as Shiro’s fight or flight instinct continued to act. It was short lived though. Shiro’s face softened soon after he realized who was before him. It was just Lance. 

 

“Hey.” Lance smiled, offering his hand to his teammate before him. 

 

As Shiro considered accepting the offer, Lance was able to read his internal dialogue through his sad, distant eyes. Shiro was sinking back into himself, forcing himself to put on a facade of confidence. Realizing that Shiro wasn’t going to take his hand, Lance opted to plop himself down on the ground next to him. 

 

“Can I talk to you, Shiro?” Lance started, keeping his tone as casual as he could.

 

“Uh.. yeah.” Shiro was coming back to reality, latching onto his need to be a helpful team leader. “What’s up?”

 

Lance playfully imitated the noise of a buzzer, and nudged Shiro. “Wrong! That’s what I’m supposed to ask you.”

 

Shiro brought his head back down looking at his knees. Lance wasn’t going to let him run away from this. He knew that. He considered what he had to lose at this point. Lance had already seen him in this mess. Why not just tell the truth? “It was just a nightmare.”

 

Lance took a moment to respond, considering his words carefully. “Would talking about it help at all?”

 

“I’m… not sure.”

 

“Well I am sure about one thing,” Lance jumped back up, offering his hand to Shiro once again, “that we don’t need a sleep deprived captain on our hands.”

 

Shiro found himself sending a timid smile to the blue paladin, accepting his offer, and standing up.

 

“C’mon. Let’s get you to bed.”

 

Lance soon found himself guiding Shiro into the bedroom. Lance then saw that Shiro got himself into bed, laying down and tucking himself into the covers. He rolled over, facing away from Lance. The next thing he said incited a little shock.

 

“Please don’t leave.” Shiro’s voice was surprisingly timid. 

 

Lance’s heart skipped a beat. Shiro was Lance’s hero. Lance might’ve even had a large crush on him that he totally hasn’t blabbed about to Hunk. And here he was, being asked to help in his hero’s time of weakness. 

 

A plethora of emotions were spinning round Lance’s head. Out of all his intentions and feelings, nothing was taking action, so finally, it was his usual, goofy self that decided to get a move on. Lance plopped himself down on the bed next to Shiro. It was a queen or maybe even bigger. There was plenty of space.

 

Shiro rolled back over, instinctively looking towards the presence that had arrived beside him.

 

Lance joked in response to Shiro’s stare. “What? Lancey-lance has gotta get his beauty sleep too, ya’ know.” 

 

Shiro forced out a weak smile as the two of them shifted into comfortable positions. After seeing the grin on Shiro’s tear stained face, Lance could no longer fight his urge to hug Shiro. As Lance gingerly reached his arm out to make contact, Shiro jumped on the initiative faster. Before he knew it, Lance had Shiro’s arms wrapped around him, his forehead lightly pressing towards Lance’s neck. Lance returned the hug, noticing how Shiro was still shaking. 

 

“Shiro?” Lance gently pushed, “Please don’t feel the need to hide your emotions here.”

 

With that, Shiro took a shaky intake of breath. “Thank you,” he whispered, allowing a sob to escape. 

 

Lance couldn’t help but feel a little bit out of place, holding a crying Shiro in his arms, but something was also strongly grounding about the fact. He could feel the thrum of his heart through his hands on his back. He could feel his warm breath and tears against his neck. Lance hoped that Shiro was able to feel grounded too.

 

“You know, when I was little,” Lance quietly suggested, “Veronica used to sing to me when I had a nightmare.”

 

“Could you?” Shiro softly asked.

 

For a moment, Lance regretted mentioning anything about singing. But the regret faded quickly. He hugged him a little tighter, able to feel as Shiro’s back moved slightly with every breath he took. Lance then lifted his chin to rest it lightly on top of Shiro’s head as he searched his brain for a song to sing. 

 

His mind stopped on a lullaby that his sister would sing to him all the time when he was real young. It felt a little inaccurate, considering all he and Shiro had gone through, but it was the only song he could think of, and it still meant a lot to him. Lance parted his lips, and began to quietly sing.

 

“ _ Have you ever noticed the old big dipper, _

_ And wondered what he’s dippin’ all night. _

_ Well he’s dipping out peace and he’s dipping out love _

_ And he’s dipping out a way of life. _

_ And if notice the old big dipper, _

_ You’re gonna notice all the other stars too. _

_ So take a look around where the light shines down _

_ And wonder just where are you? _

_ You’re on a little green speck _

_ On a little blue ball _

_ With a big black sky all around. _

_ So you better take good care _

_ Of that little blue ball, _

_ ‘Cause you know it’s the only home you’ll ever have.” _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again for reading!   
> The next chapter will probably be a little bit shorter, but will contain a much needed conversation between Lance and Shiro.


	3. Scars

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a note! When a whole scene is italicized, that means it's a flashback.
> 
> Also, some warnings.  
> There's some blood in this chapter and mentions of self harm.

“Lance, once again, I really can’t thank you enough.” Shiro spoke as Lance entered the bedroom, returning from changing into some comfortable pajamas. “I haven’t slept this well in a long time.”

 

It had been about a week since Lance started sharing a room with Shiro, both of them finding the comfort of another person greatly aiding their sleep patterns.

 

“You really should’ve told us about this earlier.” Lance spoke as he sat down on the bed next to Shiro. “I don’t think any of us realized that your nightmares were that bad.”

 

“They weren’t that bad initially,” Shiro was met with an unimpressed glance from Lance. “I promise. They got a lot worse since we returned to earth. I guess with how things have calmed down a bit, I’ve got less to distract myself from them.” Shiro gave that as his explanation. He knew that there was more to it, but thinking about it too much could ruin the good mood he was in. He had enough stress to deal with during the day time anyways, being the captain of the Atlas and all. He didn’t need anymore during his nights. 

 

Shiro directed his notice to Lance, questioning his choice of pajamas. His pants were long, in direct contrast with the heat that came with the current weather.

 

“You know you don’t have to wear long pants if you don’t want to. It’s a bit warm-”

 

“I’m fine.” Lance’s reply was unexpectedly harsh for the topic. He noticed this though, and looked back up at Shiro, with a plastered grin. “It’s okay. I run cold…” Lance trailed off, stopping himself from continuing. He was lying, plain as could be. He couldn’t do that to Shiro. After how Shiro opened up about his nightmares, Lance couldn’t lie to him in return. “Sorry,” he muttered, “That was a lie.”

 

Shiro cocked his head at Lance, inquisitively.

 

“I’m… I’m just self conscious about my legs is all.” Lance spoke a little bit too fast, wanting to get his words out before he could second guess himself. He was good at that, second guessing. “There’s scars…”

 

Shiro sighed. By the amount of nervousness that was pouring off of Lance, he expected his words to be worse. “Is it with your leg…?” Shiro asked, referring to Lance’s amputation site.

 

“No,” Lance shuffled uncomfortably, moving so he could lie down. “It’s not that.” 

 

Shiro moved also, preparing for bed next to him. “Well, I’d guess you already know what I’m going to say. I’m practically littered with scars. There’s nothing to be ashamed of.”

 

Lance let out a hum, acknowledging Shiro’s words, but not necessarily agreeing with them.

 

“It took me a long time to become comfortable with mine, I know that.” Shiro continued as he reached over to turn off his bedside lamp. “I see them as stories, marking things that have happened in our lives. The stories they tell might not be the nicest ones to remember, but they’re a part of us and we need to find ways to accept that.”

 

Lance moved, cuddling up closer to Shiro, showing his appreciation for the little speech. Shiro had learned in these past few nights that Lance was a real cuddler. He assumed it due to all his siblings, but hey. Shiro didn’t find himself complaining. 

 

“I’ve also never failed to find a positive spin on any of the stories behind my scars. I think of some of the prisoners I met, I think of finally escaping and being found by you all, I think all of the rescues we’ve made... I’ve always thought of that quote… gosh I wish I could remember the whole thing. Anyways, it said something like, ‘look for the helpers.’ Maybe someone you care about was there and helped you…”

  
  


* * *

  
  
  


_ Shiro’s gut somersaulted as he watched the five streaks of light and clouds as they fell from the sky. He couldn’t bare watching his teammates through a screen. They were falling to what could possibly be their deaths. He had to do something. He had to move.  _

 

_ Blearily, Shiro found himself running through the halls out to the hangar where five ground rescue teams were waiting to for the order to take action. On officer was standing, waiting, her hand to her ear. In a daze, Shiro walked towards her. There had to be something he could do. _

 

_ The officer suddenly began to call out unit names, followed by coordinates. The rescue teams moved efficiently, starting to roll out. The lions had hit the ground. _

 

_ “Captain Shirogane,” the officer saluted, noticing Shiro’s presence, “can I be of assistance to you?” _

 

_ Shiro stuttered, not really sure what to say. “I need to do something. I need to help them.” Everything was so unclear in Shiro’s world right now, especially his place in all of this.  _

 

_ The officer in charge of the ground team wasn’t sure how she was supposed to aid the worried captain. Shiro’s eyes told how painfully lost he was, but she didn’t know what she could say without overstepping her authority. It didn’t matter though. Before she could say anything, Shiro had sped off to one of the remaining rescue teams. He had decided he would go with them. He couldn’t sit still in the Atlas and wait for the word to come in. He’d had to go in there himself and do whatever he could, even if that wasn’t much.  _

 

_ He found himself riding along in a vehicle headed towards the closest of the crash sites. Shiro was sure he earned a few confused looks from the soldiers and field nurses around him, but he didn’t care. He was here. Doing something. _

 

_ The smell of burning caused Shiro to look up, pulling him out of his daze and actually examining his surroundings. Just past a few more destroyed buildings, he could see the red lion. It was smoking, bent and busted, it’s particle barrier barely there. The team jumped out of the vehicle, some getting a stretcher ready, another preparing emergency medical supplies. Some more pulled together some miscellaneous equipment that would help remove the red paladin from this wreck. _

 

_ Shiro led the team towards the lion. He wasn’t really thinking at this point. The buzz of the weak particle barrier was all that filled his mind at this moment. He reached his hand out, placing it on the shield. It was a last ditch attempt from Red to help her paladin - to keep Lance from further harm. Red didn’t have quite enough energy though. Shiro guessed that it would only take a single blast or two from a weapon to cause it to fall. He didn’t want to resort to that. Instead, Shiro reached out to the lion in his mind, pleading for Red to open up.  _

 

_ He felt a tiny purr at the edges of his mind. The red lion acknowledged who he was, begging for Shiro to help her paladin. And with that, the particle barrier blinked away. _

 

_ The rescue team moved quickly once that obstacle was out of the way. They ran over to where the lion’s head lay partially sideways, a hole cracked through her glass eyes. It was their entrance.  _

 

_ Shiro found that the adrenaline that had brought him to this spot was starting to fade away. He could finally feel the pressure in his chest, causing each breath to be its own struggle. He felt ready to run, to get away from this situation, to pretend that this was all a dream. Maybe he could close his eyes and imagine they were all back together, on the castle ship, when everything was new and exciting. But he couldn’t escape. He had to keep himself here and present for his teammates. He had to be strong for Allura, Hunk, Pidge, Keith, and Lance, who lay only feet away on the other side of this crumpled wall of metal that was the red lion. _

 

_ Shiro realized that he didn’t even know if Lance was even alive in there. _

 

_ His feet began to move on his own, taking himself into the cockpit of the lion, passing the soldier who was waiting with the stretcher just outside.  _

 

_ Shiro thought he was going to choke on the stench of blood. He hadn’t experienced that scent so keenly since he fought in the prison arena. A ringing swelled up in Shiro’s ears, starting quiet, but quickly becoming loud enough to block out everything that was going on. All he could sense anymore was blood, pain, and… Lance. _

 

_ Lance’s eyes were still open, but you could hardly call him conscious. His slow, few and far between blinks were a strong sign that Lance was still alive. A field nurse was carefully removing Lance’s helmet, the glass facing of it shattered and cutting into Lance’s skin. Another was tightly tying a tourniquet around Lance’s leg. His leg. It was missing from the thigh down. A third crew member was holding pressure to a wound on Lance’s torso with one hand, as she examined his vitals with a device in the other. They’d already hooked him up to some kind of portable IV. And with all the blood he’d lost, he was going to need the extra fluids.  _

 

_ Shiro couldn’t keep his eyes off of Lance’s face. He kept expecting him to look up and grin, or maybe even make some joking comment. But no. All he got back were distant, unfocused eyes, already bruising at the bottom with dehydration. _

 

_ Shiro nearly went into fight mode when he felt a hand on his shoulder. His head whipped around to see where the contact was coming from. It was one of the field nurses.  _

 

_ “Captain Shirogane?” the nurse spoke, concerned, as if he’d been trying to get Shiro’s attention for a while, “we were wondering if you’d be able to help us lift him out of here.” _

 

_ “Of course,” Shiro replied, his leadership instincts defensively creating a facade over his distress.  _

 

_ He worked with the other man, carefully gripping under Lance’s shoulders to lift him up and out of the chair, while the remaining nurses assisted in making sure that nothing was jostled too much. It was in a blur that they carried Lance’s dead weight outside and onto the stretcher.  _

 

_ Once Lance was out of his arms, Shiro felt his legs go weak. He stumbled, dizzy, into their transportation. He couldn’t help but notice the little bit of blood that had gathered on his hands and arms. Lance’s blood. It was a waking nightmare.  _

 

* * *

 

Once Lance was actually able to sleep, he slept like a rock. It was only natural. Growing up sharing a room with other siblings, he had to learn to sleep through their bullshit. It didn’t mean he couldn’t wake up when he needed to though. At the first sign of distress, Lance was always able to wake up and help his family with whatever was going on. He sat with his brother when he got dumped late at night over text. Or when his sister couldn’t sleep through her period cramps. Even when he moved into the dorms at the Garrison, his instinct wasn’t suppressed. Countless times he was up with Hunk when he was panicking over something. Hunk was always worried that Lance was going to be tired in the morning because of him, but Lance always hushed him. Hunk had returned the favour countless times. 

 

So it was normal that Lance found it himself able to pick up on the signs of Shiro’s night terrors, waking up to be able to help him through it. He couldn’t help but feel for Shiro though. He had learned how bad these nightmares could get, and, as the nights went on, he was discovering just how frequently they occured. Occasionally, there was even more than one a night. 

 

Lance had just woken up, blinking to regain his senses from their slumber. He began to hear Shiro’s heavy breathing and the way the bed creaked as he twitched. Lance rolled over to face Shiro, just in time to see him spasm and shout out from some awful even in his dream. 

 

Lance reached out, but took care as he did so. He had learned that Shiro could sometimes lash out violently in his sleep. Lance placed his thumb gently on Shiro’s forehead, wiping away his white locks that had been stuck there by sweat. 

 

“Hey,” Lance spoke, quietly but firmly. He placed his hand fully onto Shiro’s head, rubbing loving circles into his temple with his thumb. Sometimes, with just this gentle contact, he’d be able to pull Shiro out of the nightmare without having to wake him up. That was always the desired choice. If Shiro woke up mid nightmare, it took a painfully long time for him to calm down before being able to sleep again.

 

Shiro seemed to breath a bit easier as Lance continued to run his fingers through his hair. “That’s it,” Lance whispered, “I’m here. You’re okay.”

 

Shiro’s calm was short lived. The pained expression returned to his face, and his breathing escalated once more. Lance propped himself up on his elbow in concern, combing Shiro’s hair more vigilantly with his free hand. “You’re okay, Shiro, you’re okay.” Lance repeated his words once again, hoping that Shiro would subconsciously hear them. 

 

It didn’t seem to be doing the trick tonight.

 

Shiro grunted in his sleep and gripped the bed sheet tight with his real arm. Lance continued to twirl his fingers through his hair and whisper sweet nothings, but nothing seemed to be working. 

 

When Shiro let out a light yelp, pulling his arms and legs tight into his body, tears began to slide down his sleeping face.

 

Lance sat up entirely, and moved his hand to Shiro’s shoulder. “Hey, Shiro.” Lance spoke up a bit, applying some pressure to Shiro’s shoulder, hoping to nudge him awake. Shiro didn’t react, instead, shaking at some continuing scene in his nightmare. “Shiro.” Lance spoke calmly, giving another firm push to Shiro’s real shoulder. That finally did the trick.

 

Shiro awoke with a tight intake of breath. He struggled to sit up, to take a view of his surroundings, but Lance gently guided him back to lay down. Lance then returned to lie down next to him.

 

“Lance?” Shiro spoke when he finally found some grounding.

 

“Hey.” Lance whispered, his heart fluttering with relief that Shiro was back out of his dream. 

 

No more words needed to be said as Lance gently wiped the final few tears from Shiro’s cheeks, then pulled him close into an embrace. Shiro returned the hug firmly, burying his face into Lance’s collarbone. Lance added a light squeeze to the hug, glad that he was able to provide this feeling of safety to the man he admired and possibly loved. And while Lance doubted that Shiro would ever return any romantic feelings, Lance was happy he could at least incite feelings of warmth and safety. 

 

* * *

  
  
  


Lance always got a bit weird when it came to his legs, and Shiro had been noticing his more and more plainly. Shiro wanted nothing more than to pull Lance into a big hug and remind him that there was nothing to be ashamed of. He knew what it was like to lose a limb and to feel remorse towards a new one. And he wished Lance would open up to him more about the topic. 

 

Shiro couldn’t help but feel a little bit selfish on the topic. With how close they had gotten, and with how Shiro was also an amputee, he considered he would be the perfect candidate to help Lance through his feelings about this. But no matter how many times Shiro tried to find an opening to broach the topic, Lance would always shrug it off. 

 

Lance’s rejection of his help hurt Shiro in a way. He really cared for Lance, in ways more than Shiro was ready to admit to himself. He knew something else was there amongst his feelings. Lance could make him laugh like no one else could. Lance could calm him and allow him to feel more rested and like himself than he had in years. And more than anything else, Lance made him feel real. The possibility of there being something else within his feelings towards Lance had been on the outskirts of his mind for longer than he could remember. But he wasn’t ready to deal with them yet. Not with how unfortunate his last relationship ended up. 

 

So, Shiro forced his thoughts onto how he could make Lance more comfortable with himself - with his new leg. And a new revelation in this field came a bit sooner than Shiro had expected. 

 

Lance had been too lazy to leave the room one night when it came to changing into his pajamas. They changed in the same room all the time before, while suiting up into their armor, so Shiro wasn’t too sure why it was a problem to begin with. But, he’d respect Lance’s wishes, hoping that his self consciousness would eventually go away.

 

Despite this, Shiro couldn’t help but glance over at Lance while he changed. He was honest to god curious about his prosthetic. But once his eyes were over there, the mechanical limb wasn’t what took his full attention. The scars Lance had mentioned had nothing to do with his recent injury. 

 

Shiro quickly looked away, not wanting Lance to catch him looking. He needed a moment to process what he had seen anyways. Light pink and white scars laced their way up the inside of Lance’s thighs. They were, sadly, easy to identify. They were cutting scars. Scars from self harm.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And we end on a bit of a cliff hanger!  
> Thanks for reading!  
> Next chapter we're gonna hang out with Hunk and Keith again for a bit. I look forward to it, and I hope you guys do too!


	4. I'll Be Here

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter takes place just under a month after Keith wakes up.

Keith was still bedridden, in the hospital, with a copious amount of drugs and painkillers flowing round his system. He was the only paladin that remained. Everyone else had been released at one time or another, and the occasional visits have informed him of such. But, despite his friend’s freedom from the hospital, Keith found himself alone. Visits made to him were few and far between.

 

He understood that everyone was busy. They were paladins of Voltron. Shiro was the captain of the Atlas. Krolia and Kolivan were the main two Galra contacts in the Garrison. But, despite all Keith reminded himself of this, he couldn’t help but feel a bit abandoned.

 

What didn’t help was the fact that his mind was still completely fuzzy, recovering from his head injury. It was frustrating to Keith. Many thoughts that should be easy to pull off the top of his head took immense searching in order to surface. He wasn’t sure if many of his memories from the past few months were actual memories, or just memories of people telling him about what happened. 

 

But whatever it was, Keith was almost thankful for his difficult to heal injury. It forced him to take time to relax - time he hadn't taken for himself for as long as he could remember. Keith searched back in his mind. Had he even ever relaxed while he was alone in the desert after leaving the Garrison?

 

Keith hugged Kosmo tight, stroking through the wolf’s long fur. He had to thank his space canine for being there. He was sure pets weren’t at all allowed in the hospital, but with Kosmo’s teleporting abilities, the wolf came and went as he pleased, filling some of the hole left by Keith’s lack of visitors. 

 

_ Maybe I get Kosmo to force someone’s ass over here, _ Keith snickered to himself. 

 

Kosmo lifted his head, seemingly hearing Keith’s thoughts. In a blink of light, the space wolf had disappeared, leaving Keith a little shocked. The warmth the dog had provided from laying on top of him had been brutally replaced by the cold hospital air. 

 

It was only a few moments later that Hunk materialized in the room, back with Kosmo. Hunk blinked, trying to get a grip on his surroundings, screwdriver in hand from whatever he had been working on. 

 

“Oh, Keith!” Hunk smiled, speaking once he finally realized what had happened, “did you need something?” he asked, assuming that Keith had specifically sent Kosmo over to get him.

 

Keith shifted a little, suddenly feeling uncomfortable. He appreciated that Kosmo had brought him the company, but he didn’t want Hunk to feel like he was forced to be there. 

 

“Ah, no…” Keith admitted. “Kosmo just kinda did that on his own I guess.”

 

Hunk took a moment to consider Keith’s words, shrugged, then pulled up a chair next the bed. “So, how’s it been going?”

 

Keith smiled back, almost sheepishly. “It’s alright. Head still feels fuzzy, but they’ve got me on all these painkillers so, nothing hurts.” He lightly lifted his arm as he spoke, emphasizing the IV. “What’s been going on with you guys?” Keith asked in return, his voice filling with some sad undertones, “I’m sure you’re all busy?”

 

Hunk picked up on Keith’s feelings almost immediately. He was best friends with Lance after all, who often lived through a facade. Hunk was trained at picking up subtle emotional cues because of this. 

 

“Yeah.” Hunk looked at his hands, twiddling his thumbs as he spoke. While he was aware of Keith’s unhappiness with their absence, he wasn’t quite sure yet how to address it. “They’ve had Coran, Pidge, and I working hard on implementing Altean technology into Earth’s. It’s been a lot, but it’s nice to have a distraction.”

 

Keith nodded slowly to show he was listening, but he wasn’t really thinking about anything. 

 

“Oh, uh, how’s the physical therapy been going?” Hunk smiled, happy that he found something to talk about. It’d been nearly a week since Hunk had last been able to see Keith, and he was curious how he’d been progressing. 

 

Hunk couldn’t help but feel a bit guilty though. He had been doing his best to see Keith as often as he could, knowing that Shiro had been particularly busy with his new position as captain. But time had slipped away from him this past week, and his workload had won over.

 

Keith grinned, “It’s been going great actually.” Keith took a moment to describe to Hunk how his stamina had recovered greatly since they had last spoken. Keith had been extremely frustrated at first, not expecting how a short coma could affect him physically as much as it did. But this was Keith after all, and he was getting his strength back quicker than any of the nurses had guessed. 

 

The black paladin took another moment to consider his time in physical therapy. It was the only time he ever found himself running into Lance, and even then those sightings were few and far between. He’d seen him from time to time though, strengthening the coordination of his new leg. Lance always met Keith with a bright smile and a “long time no see.” Keith half wondered if it was a true reflection of how he was doing or not. He knew how badly losing a limb had affected Shiro after all. 

 

Keith was brought out of his memories as Hunk continued their mindless chitchat. Keith had to stop him at one moment, uttering how much he appreciated him being there, even if there was no real reason to be. 

 

Hunk smiled, “I’ll be here whenever you need me.” 

 

With how turbulent his life had been, and with the added big change of being back on Earth, Keith couldn’t help but appreciated the strong constant that Hunk was becoming in his life. Hunk was carefree, never worrying that his work might be getting behind. His friends, his teammates, his family always came first. 

 

And Hunk knew he had to be there, especially if no one else could

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for the short chapter!  
> My mind is so focused on the events of the next chapter, that I ended up rushing this one a bit. But it's okay! There's still plenty of time left in the world for Keith and Hunk to hang out.   
> Thanks for being awesome readers!


	5. Cleaning

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: This chapter contains mentions of self harm, and a depiction of an attempted suicide.

Shiro couldn’t help but be worried about Lance. He knew that there was more to that boy than the facade he constantly put up. Lance had reached out to him in times of weakness before. But Shiro never suspected it was  _ that _ bad. He had to do something. Even though the cuts appeared old, he knew that emotional wounds of this nature rarely go away fully, just like the scars that laced the red paladin’s legs. 

 

Shiro wanted to know how he could best be there for Lance. So, he turned to the person he knew could do that best - the person that knew Lance better than anyone on the entirety of Earth.

 

Hunk.

 

It was late in the evening when Shiro found Hunk in the barrack’s kitchen, just finishing cleaning up after some delicious meal.

 

“Hey Hunk!” Shiro smiled at his teammate.

 

“Oh!” Hunk turned around with delighted surprise, placing the bowl he was washing back in the sink. “What’s up, Shiro?”

 

“I was wondering if you had a moment to sit and just chat.” Shiro did his best to make it sound as casual as possible, careful not to spike any anxiety in Hunk.

 

It didn’t exactly work, as Hunk easily picked up that there was more to Shiro’s words. “Sure,” He smiled back. The familiar nervousness never creeped up on him though. He was happy to be there for Shiro if he needed him. “Lemme just finish washing this first.”

 

Hunk brought his attention back to the large mixing bowl that sat in the sink, covered with soapy bubbles. It was too large to fit in the small communal dishwasher, so Hunk had to settle on cleaning it by hand.

 

Shiro moved himself to sit at the kitchen’s island style table, watching Hunk as he worked. Eventually, Hunk came and sat on the stool next to him. 

 

“So…” Hunk started, “What did our amazing captain want to talk about?”

 

Shiro blushed lightly at the praise, but it faded quickly. This was more important. “It’s about Lance.” He started, sounding more grim than he had hoped.

 

Hunk’s lips pressed into a small frown. He had known that Lance and Shiro had become a lot closer since the crash. He grew concerned as to what Shiro could have picked up on. 

 

“Did something happen?” Hunk gulped.

 

“Ah… no.” Shiro said, “not really. I uh… I just noticed something, was all. I was wondering if you could give me more insight on it.” Shiro found himself getting unexpectedly nervous as he spoke. He wasn’t sure why in this moment, but he felt his cheeks grow flushed and his emotions run high.

 

“I’ll do my best,” Hunk smiled, a valiant effort in keeping the conversation light.

 

“Well. Okay. I saw…” Shiro stopped, backtracking. “I guess I should give some background information first. Let’s keep this from sounding weird… Well it’ll probably sound strange anyways.” Shiro nervously continued, more and more emotions started pouring out the longer he spoke. “Lance and I have been sleeping together as of recent - no, not ‘sleeping together’ sleeping together. Sharing a bed. That’s it. He found me one night when I was having a bad nightmare, and stayed with me. And he’s stayed with me ever since.” Shiro paused, having rushed through that first part of explanation. “Anyways, he’d been wearing long pants to bed, and I mentioned it, because it was too warm for that, and he… He told me he was self conscious of his legs. That he had scars. I-I assumed that he was referring to the amputation site but… but…” Shiro stopped to take a breath, but it came out all shaky. “I saw him when he was changing one time… the scars. They’re… they’re…”

 

Hunk reached out, placing a hand on his friend’s shoulder before Shiro could break out into tears. He silently let him know that he didn’t need to say anything else.

 

Hunk looked at Shiro, and then looked down towards his own feet, speaking softly. “I know what you’re talking about,” he whispered, before taking a moment to look back up and study Shiro’s face. He started again, louder this time. “You really care about him, don’t you?”

 

Shiro looked back, his mouth slightly open, not having expected Hunk’s question. He considered for a moment, his heart feeling warm and clenched at the same time. Shiro finally responded with a simple nod. “Yeah. I do.” With those three words, Shiro finally accepted it within himself. He loved Lance. He loved and cared for him more than he knew how to put into words. “I just…” Shiro interrupted his own emotions, wanting to save them for another time. “I want to know how I can help him.”

 

Hunk gave Shiro back a sad smile and sigh, keeping his hand on the man’s shoulder. He prepared for the speech he needed to give. “I know it’s not exactly my place to be telling you this… but I think I should.” He paused before starting. “Lance has struggled with depression for as long as I’ve known him. He’s on antidepressants and all that… I’m not to sure when the cutting started.” Hunk sighed again, removing his hand from Shiro and using it to cover his whole face. “When I really started noticing his emotional state, it was around when he got placed in the cargo pilot class. It really did a number on his mental health. I-I walked in on him one day slicing his leg open. That’s how I found out.” Hunk’s eyes turned distant, remembering the scenes as he described them. “It wasn’t a new thing then, I know. I did my best to keep the blades away from him. I did what I could to stop it, and to be there for him, but somehow…” 

 

Hunk had to take a moment. He had to breathe. Shiro didn’t know it, but Hunk’s mind had jumped ahead, remembering other events that seemed to shake him to the core. Shiro returned the comforting hand to Hunk’s shoulder. 

 

“It’s okay. Let it all out.” Shiro spoke softly.

 

Hunk shook his head, urging himself to continue. “I think why he hid the scars from you was… was because he didn’t want to make you think that he was going to do to you what he did to me.”

 

Shiro stayed quiet this time, letting Hunk continue in his own time.

 

“He’s doing better now. I know that. He’s back on Earth, he’s got his meds again. He’s got you.”

 

“Hunk?”

 

Hunk ignored Shiro’s attempt at an interjection, instead, letting his mind and mouth race back and forth, finally landing on the one thing Hunk didn’t want to say, but Shiro needed to hear.

 

“I’ve found Lance about to commit suicide multiple times.” These words made the air thick enough to choke on. “I found him almost too late once.”

  
  


* * *

  
  


_ Hunk rolled over in his bottom bunk, not wanting to leave his peaceful sleep. It was warm, and the classes from the previous day had left him entirely exhausted. Despite this, the universe had decided it was time to wake up. _

 

_ Hunk glanced up, looking at the small numbers glowing in orange on the bedside table next to him. 3:57. He shut his eyes, willing himself to go back to sleep. And he would’ve eventually done it, if it wasn’t for a faint sound he heard coming from the bathroom door. _

 

_ He paused, hoping the sound would repeat itself, so he could get a better listen. After a moment that felt like an hour, there it was again. A weak groan.  _

 

_ Panic and adrenaline found their way filling up Hunk’s body, pushing him up out of bed and onto his feet. Fear took over the best of his brain, and one glance at the empty bed on top of his confirmed it. It was Lance.  _

 

_ He hurriedly made his way to the bathroom door, noticing how the bright lights slipped their way through the edges of the door, illuminating a small portion of the dark dorm.  _

 

_ Hunk didn’t even try to knock. He just went for the doorknob. Hunk could breathe just a little bit easier when it effortlessly turned. It hadn’t been locked. Lance hadn’t expected him to wake up, _

 

_ Hunk’s semi-easy breathing didn’t last barely a second. A soon as his eyes took in the contents of the bathroom, his hands swung to cover his mouth. He was going to puke.  _

 

_ He took his time, trying to breath the contents of his stomach back down to where it belonged. He couldn’t puke. His best friend had just done enough puking for the two of them. _

 

_ Lance had overdosed. Two empty pill bottles sat inside the sink, their lids hastily discarded on the ground. A half drunken glass of water lived on the counter next to it all. And then there was the bathtub. It was filled with messy layer blood mixed bile. And of course, shaking in pain and leaning on the outside of the bath, was Lance. _

 

_ Without another thought, Hunk swallowed down the rest of his own emotions, and made his way to the bathroom floor, face to face with his best friend. _

 

_ “Lance?” Hunk reached out his hand, eager to get some kind of reaction out of his friend.  _

 

_ Lance instantly recoiled at the touch, buckling over in on himself, arms cradling his stomach. He let out a barely audible whimper, seemingly trying to escape into the wall he was leaning against. Hunk couldn’t help but notice just how small, how pale he was. The usually tan, sun-kissed skin, had an added brushing of sickly white. _

 

_ As much as Hunk tried to keep his calm, he couldn’t do anything about the tears that rolled down his cheeks. He was shaking all over. He just wanted his friend back. He just wanted Lance to be okay. The word “why” buzzed round and around his head. _

 

_ It took all of Hunks energy to leave the room, and call for the emergency help that was needed. _

  
  


* * *

  
  


“I never really slept well again after that.” Hunk added as he continued his explanation to Shiro. “At any little sound, I’d wake up, scared that it might be Lance, off to try and kill himself again.” 

 

Hunk was crying, and Shiro found himself feeling stiff.

 

Through his tears, Hunk found himself still able to say more. “You know, he still gets occasional stomach ulcers from that to this day.”

 

* * *

  
  


_ “Lance?”  _

 

_ Lance pulled the bedsheets up and over his head, hoping that it would somehow cause the person at his door to go away. _

 

_ “Lance. I’m coming in.” _

 

_ He cursed at how each paladin seemed to have such free reign of the castle. Why couldn’t he have any privacy? _

 

_ He heard the swoosh of the door open and close, and then footsteps heading towards his bed. It was Hunk.  _

 

_ “Hey bud. You didn’t come to dinner again. Is everything okay?” _

 

_ Lance chose not to respond, giving Hunk some time alone in his room. This caused Hunk’s eyes to wander. An empty pill bottle sat atop the small dresser in the room. Hunk squeezed his eyes tightly closed. That wasn’t good. _

 

_ “Hey, I thought you were going to tell me when your meds ran out.” Hunk let his gaze fall back on the lump under the covers of the bed. It still wouldn’t reply. “Lance, please.” Hunk pushed. _

 

_ Lance suddenly sat up, throwing the blanket down to his feet. “They ran out like not even a month into our ‘little space adventure.’” His voice was forced - not quite a shout, but with the energy of one. “Thanks for noticing.” _

 

_ Hunk’s stomach dropped. _

 

_ Lance collapsed back on his bed, but didn’t pull the covers over his face this time. He hesitated to speak anymore. _

 

_ “Lance, please talk to me.” Hunk moved to sit on the edge of Lance’s bed. Both the two paladins were very much huggers, but the strain in the air was strong. _

 

_ Now that Hunk was closer, he could it. Lance was crying.  _

 

_ “I-I’m sorry.” Lance hiccupped, speaking ever so silently. _

 

_ Hunk looked back at him, sending the most comforting face he could. _

 

_ “I relapsed.” _

 

_ The words were tiny, but they had impact. _

 

_ Hunk reached out, grabbing Lance’s now shaking hand in his own.  _

 

_ “It’s okay,” Hunk soothed, “It’s okay. Just talk to me.” _

 

_ “I-” Lance opened his mouth to speak, and everything flooded out all at once. He talked about how he missed his family. He talked about how he questioned his place on the team. He talked about how he felt so much, that he couldn’t feel anything anymore. That he didn’t want to be here anymore.  _

 

_ Hunk pulled him up into a seated position, so he could hug him. Hunk’s large arms protectfully embraced the smaller, trembling boy. He stroked through Lance’s hair, doing his best to comfort him, even though he knew nothing truly would.  _

 

_ Hunk had to keep promising himself that it was just how Lance was. His feelings weren’t conscious choices. It was no one’s fault at the end of the day. It was involved with a medical condition. But Hunk couldn’t keep himself from feeling guilty. He wished he could do more.  _

 

_ Lance appreciated Hunk’s presence though. Just the fact that Hunk was there and listening, made everything so much easier, the pain much more bearable. Having someone beside him was the best solution he’d got. _

 

* * *

 

“Lance is lucky to have you.” Hunk stated flatly, the emotions of their conversation beginning to wear off.

 

“Yeah?” Shiro replied, looking for some elaboration. 

 

“He’s always looked up to you. You were his hero, for more than being a pilot. You were a pilot through adversity. You kept going and achieved your dreams, even when things weren’t going your way, even when health was getting you down.” Hunk paused, considering. “And just to let you know, those are his words. Not mine.”

 

Shiro smiled to himself, choosing to forget the fact that Lance had somehow known about his chronic illness. It’s okay though. If it had given Lance some drive to keep going, Shiro decided it was an illness worth having.

 

“You’ll be able to be there for him,” Hunk continued, “and he’ll be able to be there for you. I think that’ll help him also. It’s another, yet more personal, purpose.”

 

Shiro found so much that he wanted to say, but kept it inside of himself. He should be saying those words directly to Lance.

 

“Also,” Hunk tacked on, “I thought I’d let you know, that Lance likes you back.”

 

Shiro found himself stuck between blushing, grinning wildly, and crying. He felt embarrassed that Hunk had somehow read his feelings, but it didn’t stop him from throwing his arms out to wrap the biggest bear hug he’d ever given around Hunk.

 

“Thank you,” Shiro cried, tearfully. “Thank you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!  
> This chapter was a little bit of a vent chapter, so thanks for sticking it out on that ride.   
> Things can only go up from here~


	6. The Leader of Voltron

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Keith and Hunk have been getting on so well, that when things aren't going as planned, Keith goes to Hunk for help. 
> 
> Warning for this chapter possibly making you smile real big.

Hunk felt refreshed. He had discussed things with Shiro that he’d never discussed before in his life. He got out pained memories that had haunted him for years. And it was a great feeling. 

 

He couldn’t help but feel a little bit guilty though. Something in the back of his mind kept telling him that it wasn’t his place to discuss that with Shiro, so Hunk had to keep reminding himself that it was his own experiences and issues that he had discussed. He was there with Lance, he had felt those things. And he trusted Shiro with the information, and he knew Lance would too. It was just a matter of if Lance was ready to share it. And judging by how he was actively trying to hide his scars, it was clear he wasn’t ready yet. 

 

But even with all the relief Hunk knew could come from talking, it still came as a bit of a shock when Keith approached him, wanting to talk.

 

“Hey.” Keith had awkwardly shuffled into Hunk’s room one afternoon. 

 

It had been a couple weeks since Keith had been discharged from the hospital. Of course, as soon as he got out, he went straight back to his regular, arduous, training schedule. 

 

Hunk had strolled past the training room a few times when Keith was in there, and noticed something was off. The black paladin’s grunts of effort seemed more strained, more frustrated, than they had been before. After that, Hunk couldn’t help but notice some hidden emotion, always lingering just below Keith’s surface. It was clear that something had been bothering him, but Hunk wasn’t sure how to ever broach the topic. When checking in on Lance, Hunk would always carefully, but firmly, push the topic until something came out. He wasn’t sure how that would work with Keith. Keith had always been known as their most closed off teammate. As much as Hunk wanted to help, he just never knew how.

 

So, it was a bit of a miracle when Keith went and approached Hunk all on his own.

 

Hunk spun around in his chair, turning away from the device he was tinkering with, so he could look at Keith.

 

“What’s going on buddy?” Hunk smiled at his friend.

 

Keith walked further into the room, and glanced at Hunk for approval before taking a seat on the edge of the bed. “Dunno really. I’ve just been feeling kinda… off.”

 

Hunk pressed his lips together, knowing that this conversation would take a bit of searching Keith’s brain. Keith wasn’t used to heart-to-heart conversations, but Hunk was happy and ready to be there for him.

 

“Yeah?” Hunk pressed a little, seeing if Keith had anymore initial information to give.

 

Keith shrugged, looking down at himself. Hunk could feel his presence shrink away. It made Hunk hold his breath for a moment. He hadn’t seen Keith like this in a long time, not since he first met him back as students at the garrison. He was escaping into himself. It caught Hunk off guard to see his usually confident leader like this.

 

Hunk got up from his chair, and moved to sit on the bed next to Keith. He wanted to wrap an arm around the boy, to pull him into a big bear hug. But he kept the urge down, respecting Keith’s boundaries. If he hugged him now, Keith might close off for good, shutting down the rest of the conversation. 

 

Hunk needed to strategize. He wanted to get Keith talking.

 

“How’s training been going? The simulations on the Atlas are a lot different then in the Castle, aren’t they?”

 

Hunk felt his teammate cringe and shiver next to him. He didn’t know it yet, but he’d hit the nail on the head.

 

“It’s… fine. It’s good to have a change I guess.” Keith stared at his knees, not even looking up when Hunk tried to share eye contact.

 

“I heard they recreated the invisible maze.” Hunk started, not bothering to stop himself from rambling. Lance liked to listen to him talk when he felt down, so it didn’t hurt to ramble to Keith. “Have you tried it out yet? I haven’t. Well, then again, I’ve barely done any training since returning to Earth to be honest. Been too busy helping out recreate Altean technology and stuff.”

 

“I haven’t tried it either…” Keith trailed off.

 

Keith took a large breath that unexpectedly caused his entire body to shudder. He needed to just get it over with and say it. He needed to tell Hunk all the things he’d been noticing. He needed to tell him what he came here to say - what had been bothering him so deeply.

 

“I uh…” He found himself starting to stall as he began to speak. “Thanks for talking - listening to me, Hunk. I really appreciate it. Shiro’s just been so busy lately, and you’ve been so… awesome ever since we got back.” Keith mentally kicked himself for not getting to the point. 

 

Hunk continued to smile, waiting patiently for Keith to say whatever he needed to.

 

“What I’m…” Keith collapsed a little, resting his head on his hand. “Gosh, why is this so difficult?” Frustration mixed with a bit of anxiety bled out into his voice. 

 

“It’s fine,” Hunk gingerly placed a hand on Keith’s shoulder, reminding him that he was here for him. “Being an open book doesn’t come naturally for everyone.”

 

Keith nodded, acknowledging Hunk’s words, then he returned into his mind, trying to pull out the words he needed to say.

 

“I… just… Something’s not right?” Figuring out what words to use was still a work in progress for Keith. “Training hasn’t been going well. At all.” Keith stopped after that, glad he’d been able to at least get that statement out. It was a start. 

 

Hunk proceeded carefully. “How so?”

 

Keith considered for a moment, then spoke quickly. “My hits aren’t accurate anymore. It’s like my hand-eye coordination has been screwed with. And my reaction time has become painfully slow. And I can barely even stay upright anymore after getting hit…” He found his words caught in his throat, on just now aware of the tears that were pooling in his eyes. Keith did his best to take deep breaths, trying his best to be proud of himself for saying what he did out loud. It was too overshadowed though by his shame and confusion. 

 

Hunk let out a deep, warm hum. It was sadly clear to him. It was a long lasting result of Keith’s head injury.

 

Before Hunk could respond though, Keith’s mouth was back at it again, speaking swiftly.

 

“I just can’t believe I’ve regressed this badly just because I was in the hospital for a bit.” Tears were fully flowing down Keith’s cheeks at this point, but no sobbing sounds were made. “I’m supposed to be the leader of Voltron. How am I supposed to do that without being able to accurately swing a sword anymore? I can’t even dodge in time for fuck’s sake.”

 

Hunk wasn’t sure yet what to say, but he knew the urge he had.

 

“Can I give you a hug?” Hunk requested.

 

Keith’s head spun to look at him quickly, matching the speed of his previous words. It was only then that he paused for a moment before giving a small nod. 

 

Hunk immediately acted upon Keith’s approval, wrapping his arms around his friend. He startled for a moment as Keith quickly moved his arms around to firmly return the hug. Hunk didn’t care if it was stress or adrenaline that caused Keith to act so strongly on this. He was just glad that Keith trusted him enough to talk to him and to make contact. 

 

Hunk closed his eyes, letting a little weight from his head rest against Keith’s. He instinctively began to run gently circles into black paladin’s back. Hunk felt Keith’s body tense, and could hear his stifled sniffles. 

 

“It’s okay,” Hunk muttered, “there’s nothing wrong with being frustrated, or sad about this. Just let it out.”

 

Keith’s body gave out the tiniest jolt, a little tearful hiccup being sent towards Hunk’s shoulder. With this started much more audible tears.

 

Hunk held Keith a little tighter as he cried.

 

“This is all temporary, okay?” Hunk spoke as the words came to him, his voice soft. “Yeah, it sucks ass right now, but it’s not forever. I know how dedicated you are - we all do. You’ll easily get through it and adjust. You’ll do whatever it takes to relearn those skills. You know why? Because you are fucking Keith, the leader of Voltron, who just saved planet Earth, and is on his way to saving the entire fucking galaxy.”

 

Keith couldn’t help but let out a light laugh through his tears, not used to hearing Hunk swear this much. He grinned inwardly, admitting to himself that the Hunk’s pep talk was doing it’s job.

 

“And even if your fighting skills might not be all there right now, it doesn’t mean that you still don’t have so much more. You can come up with battle strategies like no one else. You are intuitive, and resourceful, and so fucking strong. You’ve had all this shit thrown at you, and look where you still managed to make it. You’re amazing and I’m glad to call you my leader… and friend. I look up to you - we all look up to you in more ways than you could ever imagine.”

 

Keith’s tears had stopped. He propped his hands up on Hunk’s shoulders, and leaned back to look up at Hunk. Keith felt a grin emerging on his face. He felt a bit silly, but he worked hard to push away those feelings. That was “old Keith’s” habits. Current Keith wasn’t going to hide his emotions so easily. So, he let himself grin, smiling at Hunk as all his words swirled around his head. He wanted to thank him, but wasn’t quite sure how.

 

“Damn,” Keith uttered, “now I’m gonna have to try and return all those compliments.”

 

Hunk smiled back. “Save it for later. Right now is about you.”

 

“You know, you better not tell anyone about this.” Keith playfully threatened, referring to him crying over Hunk’s shoulder. 

 

“Yup. The secret that Keith Kogane actually feels things is safe with me.” Hunk joked back.

 

Keith threw a gentle punch into Hunk’s shoulder, getting back at him for that tease. The two then sat in silence as the rest of the stress left Keith’s body.

 

“Just, thank you for listening to me, Hunk.” Keith grinned once again at his friend.

 

“Anytime. I’ll always be here for you, no matter what.”

 

“Hey,” Keith started, his mind ticking with a small idea, “Do you wanna come help me train?”

 

“Sure thing bud.” Hunk beamed as bright as the sun, warming both Keith and the entire room. “That’d be great.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, and commenting, and bookmarking, and kudos-ing! I'm glad people are enjoying this ride!
> 
> Next chapter sadly won't be quite as bright as this one, but it will be rounded out with more good things happening. See you there!


	7. Warmth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning for mentions of self harm.  
> It's pretty minor, but here's a heads up just in case. 
> 
> This scene takes place entirely in Shiro's suite, just a couple of days after he spoke with Hunk.

It was a Saturday. While it was no guarantee due to the demanding recovery efforts, it was still the weekend, and Shiro hoped that his morning would be free. He wanted to make sure he could spend some extra time with Lance - of course, there was some talking to be done. 

 

Shiro’s eyes flickered open as he awoke, streams of morning light catching in his eyes as they shone through the blinds. Other than that, the room was still dark. He rolled over to face the boy who slept next to him, careful not to move too much the arm that was draped over him. 

 

Lance was gorgeous, even as he slept. There was such an air of peace about him that filled Shiro’s heart and mind with warmth. He wanted to reach out and caress Lance’s face, to stroke through his hair, but he kept himself from doing so. He didn’t want to disturb Lance’s rest. 

 

Shiro let out a small, happy sigh, and let himself close his eyes. Maybe he could sleep in too. It’s not like there was anywhere he’d rather be than where he was now. 

 

The morning went on smoothly. Once they’d finally gotten up, everything was as it should be. Lance took too long to roll out of bed, then took his sweet time in the bathroom, keeping up with his skincare routine. Shiro headed into the kitchenette first thing, setting a pot of coffee up to brew. He took a quick moment to look in the cabinets, wishing they had something other than a half empty box of cereal when it came to breakfast foods. He and Lance both loved joining their teammates at the barracks’ cafeteria for meals, but today, Shiro wanted to just be with Lance.

 

He couldn’t keep his prior conversation with Hunk out of his mind. He wanted so deeply to address all those topics with Lance. He wanted, needed to pull Lance into a hug and tell him that his scars were nothing to be ashamed of. He wanted to let Lance know that he was always here whenever he needed to talk. Shiro couldn’t help but feel a bit nervous though. He hoped that bringing these things up wouldn’t put the paladin in a rough mood. But he knew it would be okay. Because he’d follow it up with good news. That he liked him back.

 

Shiro couldn’t help but feel his cheeks turn a bit hot, a grin rising to his face. He almost felt like a high schooler again, new to love.

 

“What’s got you grinning like an idiot?”

 

Shiro hadn’t even notice Lance enter the kitchen. He was all dressed and ready for the day, an awkward smile painting his face to match Shiro’s.

 

“Ah-” Shiro stuttered, not ready to say anything. “I’m just… Just feeling good today.”

 

Lance hummed with a slight flirtiness to his tone, as if to say ‘is that so?” He snaked round the room, next to where Shiro was leaning against the counter, and began to pour out two cups of coffee. He normally prefered tea, but Lance didn’t mind. Whatever Shiro was having, he was happy with.

 

Lance handed a mug to Shiro, then began to speak as he pulled his own drink up to his lips. “You gonna get dressed anytime soon?” Lance eyed Shiro up and down, pointing out that he was still in his pajamas. “I’m ready to go get breakfast.”

 

Shiro didn’t reply immediately. He was a little sad at Lance’s proposal, but then again, he wasn’t quite ready to approach the certain conversation yet. He was honestly nervous. Maybe breakfast would give him the time he needed to be ready. 

 

Lance caught the hesitation in Shiro’s eyes, and looked back at him with an easy, yet questioning smile. Shiro shook his head at Lance’s concern, telling him that ‘it was nothing.’

 

“Yeah,” Shiro finally spoke, “Just a minute.” With that, he placed his coffee mug back down on the kitchen counter, and headed back to the bedroom to get changed. 

 

 

* * *

  
  
  


It was later that same day.

 

Shiro found himself on the couch, lightly thumbing through a book he found in his apartment that he couldn’t remember reading before. Next to him sat Lance, lazily flicking through the near dead TV. Ever since the Galra attacked Earth, there weren’t too many stations left to broadcast shows. Essentially all that was left was the Galaxy Garrison’s newscast. 

 

Still, it was nice. Shiro couldn’t quite remember when the last time was when he just got to sit and do nothing, especially not with a man that he loved by his side. 

 

That thought caused Shiro to come back into the moment. He glanced to his side, looking at the picture that sat on the sofa’s end table. His eyes couldn’t help but linger on the other man in the photograph - Adam. Shiro took a moment to hold his former fiance in his mind. He had since passed, but Shiro could still hear him telling him to stop ‘fooling around and get on with it.’ He grinned at the memory, hoping that Adam had a good life while he was gone in space. 

 

But the moving on phase, and Shiro was ready to get on with talking to Lance. 

 

“Hey, Lance?” Shiro spoke, putting down his book on the armrest of the couch.

 

Lance looked up, stretching his head back so far that he ended up leaning against Shiro, staring at him from an upside down perspective. “Yeah?”

 

Shiro felt his heart become warm at the contact of Lance’s head on his shoulder. Lance was just a generally touchy person, so this was normal, but knowing that Lance shared his feelings made something seem so much different. 

 

Shiro pressed his lips together, not sure of what expression to feel. His love for Lance was bubbling up inside him, but he couldn’t help but feel guilty for the conversation he was about to have. It would be hard.

 

“I’m not really sure how start this, so I’m gonna just go for it.” Shiro started, almost scared to look Lance in the eye.

 

At this, Lance hummed in acknowledgment, registering that what he was about to hear was important. He sat up straight again, ready to listen.

 

“I saw your scars Lance.” Shiro swallowed, hoping that his words didn’t sound too formal. “I just wanted to say-”

 

“I didn’t want you to know.” Lance interrupted him, despite his voice being low and quite. “You weren’t supposed to know.”

 

“Lance, I-”

 

“I’m sorry.” Lance was trembling, on the verge of tears. He couldn’t let Shiro see him like this. Shiro was never supposed to see him like this. He stepped up from the couch, ready to leave.

 

Shiro quickly reached out a gentle arm, catching Lance’s wrist before he could walk away. “Lance.” He spoke firmly to begin with, encouraging Lance to stay and listen. “It’s okay. Don’t you dare think that I’m ever going to see you any differently just because I’m aware of this.”

 

Lance began to hiccup as tears started to stream down his cheeks. So much emotion poured through his mind that he couldn’t think of anything clearly. There was so much he knew he wanted to say, but no words form. All he could find himself saying was “I’m sorry.”

 

Before he knew it, Shiro had pulled him back down onto the couch, and embraced him in a warm hug. Lance trembled, finding his breathing working in confusing ways through his sobs. Shiro added a light squeeze to the hug, his real hand gently combing through Lance’s hair, while his prosthetic rubbed up and down his back.

 

“I just wanted to remind you that I’m here for you,” Shiro spoke quietly. “Just like you said to me, there’s no need to hide your emotions here.” Shiro took his time to think and formulate what he wanted to say next.

 

Lance beat him to the next words. “Thank you,” he started, “for not freaking out.” Lance continued, speaking shockingly clearly through his tears. “Most people freak out when they find out. They make it such a big deal. Freaking out makes it worse for me.”

 

Lance pulled out of the hug so he could look at Shiro. The blue turned red paladin couldn’t help but continue to feel uncomfortable now that Shiro knew about his old self harm habits, but he knew now, and that was that. So, Lance turned to rambling, spewing his uncomfortableness out into the world, tears still falling and body still shaking. 

 

“It’s not a big deal. I don’t like people making it seem like it is. Or any of my mental health issues for that matter. Okay well, I don’t mean to lessen it or anything but… oh fuck. This is so weird. Talking about this.” Lance had to take a moment to catch his breath, his sobbing and voice cracks punctuation each word he said. “It’s all really casual in my head… it only ever felt wrong when I’d have to talk about it. Fuck. I wanna apologize to Hunk and… I’m sorry. I didn’t want to put this on you. You shouldn’t have to know about this. I didn’t want to add to-”

 

Shiro decided it was time to shut Lance up, pulling him back into the hug. “I’m not mad. Hunk’s not mad. Please stop apologizing. It’s okay.”

 

“I’m allowed to be sorry.” Lance muttered, his voice slightly muffled against Shiro’s chest.

 

“Alright.” Shiro smiled inwardly. “But I’m also allowed to tell you that it’s alright. Just… Just continue speaking to me, okay? I want to make sure that you never get to that place again, and if you do, I’ll be there to help you right out of it, okay?”

 

Lance turned his head, looking out into the room, searching for something to stare at, something to ground himself with. “Okay. Thank you.”

 

Shiro could feel with Lance’s response that he still wasn’t okay with the idea of him knowing. Sure, he felt he might’ve overstepped his bounds a little, but that didn’t matter now. What mattered was making sure that Lance knew he wasn’t going anywhere. 

 

So, Shiro did just that. He didn’t go anywhere. He stayed, holding Lance in his arms, stroking through his short, brown hair. Before he knew it, Lance was finally beginning to fully calm, his breath slowly syncing up with Shiro’s. The tension in the air softened as tears died down, and Shiro hugged him tighter. 

 

There was a bit of silence between the two before Lance piped up again, asking for a change of subject. Shiro felt his heart jump a bit. He caused this distress in Lance, hopefully he could make it all better. 

 

Lance was now curled up sideways on against Shiro, his head still resting against his chest. 

 

“Since I learned something about you, how about I share something about me?” Shiro began, nervous, not sure exactly what he was saying. He could feel his heart beating hard in his chest. He quickly began to second guess himself. Was this even an okay time for this? With Lance feeling so down right now, it could easily screw everything up. And what if Hunk was actually wrong, that Lance didn’t like him back? 

 

Lance sensed something off in Shiro, the anxiety clear on the captain’s face. Shiro looked down at Lance, and couldn’t help but feel comforted by the soft smile he was greeted with. He knew then that it would be okay. Lance had felt the outpouring of care from Shiro in their previous talk. This would go fine. 

 

“So, do I get to pick what you tell me, or do you have something in mind?” Lance already seemed to have returned to his cheerful state, only a bit subdued. Something about being in Shiro’s presence made him feel so safe, it was hard to not calm down.

 

“I have something in mind,” Shiro spoke, surprising himself as his words had the slightest flirty inflection to them. He cursed a little inwardly, knowing that he was picking up a bit of Lance’s speech patterns from being around him so much. He knew he’d have a laugh about it later though. 

 

Lance sat up a bit more so he could look at Shiro better. 

 

“It’s a little bit of a secret,” Shiro began.

 

“Does anyone else know?” Lance smiled, loving Shiro’s confidence, and wanting to turn it into a bit of a guessing game.

 

“Only Keith.” Shiro startled slightly, and began to backtrack. “Not for any reason though - I’ve just known him the longest and it never came up with anyone else.”

 

Shiro had to take a moment to calm himself. He hadn’t come out to anyone in a long time. The nerves weren’t anywhere near as bad as they were the first time he’d announced his sexuality to someone else, but the feelings were fresh from the lack of recency. 

 

He took a deep breath, and decided to just spit it out. “I’m gay.”

 

Lance froze and blinked in astonishment. Shiro looked at him, trying to read his reaction.

 

“Woah,” was the first thing out of Lance’s mouth. Shiro could only watch as his teammate’s face began to flush, his ears in particular becoming bright red.

 

Lance was at a loss for words. So much had happened since Shiro started this conversation on the sofa, and now this? There was a chance that Shiro could possibly like him back? Lance had trouble finding words to say.

 

“That’s… That’s awesome Shiro. Thanks for trusting me enough to tell me that.”  _ That’s awesome? _ Lance silently judged his own words,  _ that was so stupid! _

 

Shiro just smiled knowingly. Lance’s current body language and face tint weren’t exactly subtle.

 

Lance regained eye contact with Shiro, letting him know that he wanted to speak once more. 

 

“I’m,” Lance began sheepishly. He hadn’t actually admitted this to anyone but Hunk before. “I’m actually bisexual, ya’ know?”

 

“They always say we travel in packs,” Shiro smiled.

 

“Ooh, or maybe we travel in a pride?” Lance beamed at his cleverness. “Ya’ know, because, lions?”

 

Shiro didn’t want to laugh at Lance’s silly pun, but he couldn’t help but let a huge smile spread across his face. 

 

“Hey Lance?” Shiro began. He felt ready. “A little birdy told me that you might have a crush on someone…”

 

Any part of Lance’s face that wasn’t already red, now was. 

 

“Woah.” Lance stopped Shiro in his tracks. “Woah, woah, woah. You don’t mean to say that… that you…” His last words were as soft as could be, but were still tingling with an abundance of excited emotions. “That you like me back?”

 

Shiro didn’t think he could smile any bigger, but he did. He instinctively reached out, taking one of Lance’s hands in his own. “That’s exactly what I mean.” Shiro found his own voice to be softer and brighter than he expected. It was nice though. 

 

Lance couldn’t help himself but feel extremely giddy. “To be honest, I’m not quite sure how to react right now.” His actions disregarded his words. He was reacting strongly, beaming out happiness.

 

“That’s okay,” Shiro smiled back, and couldn’t help but notice that the space between them was becoming increasingly smaller. 

 

Lance was noticing the same thing. Shiro could feel Lance’s nervous excitement as it bubbled up out of him, creating clammy hands and a flushed face.

 

“Is this- can I-?” Lance struggled to find any words that he’d wanted. The space between their faces had all but faded away now, and the suspense for what would come next made the air around them feel thick.

 

Shiro didn’t bother to verbally answer Lance’s half asked question. Suddenly, Lance felt warm lips pressed against his, causing a wonderful shiver to spin through his entire body. He was sure that when they talked about ‘sparks flying’ during kisses in movies, that this was what they meant. 

 

Lance pushed back into the kiss eagerly, despite not knowing what he was doing. Shiro noticed Lance’s lack of experience, but didn’t at all care, because everything about this kiss was right. This kiss told so much, of so many stories, of their time on the battlefield, of their run-ins with death, of their shared jokes, of their quiet moments in the middle of the night. It sent a warmth through their bodies that neither of them had experienced before. In that moment, with that kiss, everything was alright. Everything was perfect.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you all are enjoying! It'll all be wrapped up soon.


	8. Laughter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here we go with the final chapter.  
> This takes place quite a bit after Shiro confesses to Lance.
> 
> I struggled a little with this chapter, as I wasn't sure what to do with it. I actually wrote almost the entire chapter, than deleted it and went in an entirely different direction. But I'm happy with where it ended up.

Lance leaned across the desk, admiring Shiro as he did his work. They were running a diagnostics test of the Atlas. 

 

The time passed by dreamily as Shiro went back and forth, calling out commands as system by system was checked. With any other person, Lance would be bored stiff, but with Shiro? Lance was just happy spending time with him. Lance was still officially on leave due to his injuries, so he wasn’t supposed to be doing any ‘paladin stuff,’ but hanging out at the helm of the Atlas while Shiro did his job was something he could sneak in on. 

 

Finally, Shiro was saying the long awaited words into his headset. “Alright. Good work today everyone. Let’s all have a restful evening.”

 

As the other officers in the room filtered out, Lance was left alone, face to face with Shiro.

 

“Hey,” Shiro spoke softly.

 

“Hey.” Lance replied.

 

Lance felt himself blushing profusely. He still hadn’t gotten used to this whole ‘boyfriend’ thing, and he certainly wasn’t going to anytime soon.

 

Lance knew he looked like a blushing idiot, so he decided to change that. He leaned forward, and quickly pecked a kiss against Shiro’s lips.

 

Shiro visibly relaxed at that action, his tension from the day’s work leaving his mind. He reached his hand out and laced his fingers with Lance’s, and they exited the room, starting to head down the hallway. 

 

“Hey Lance, can I ask you something?” 

 

“What’s up?”

 

“I was wondering if I could tell Keith.” Shiro hesitated. “About us.” Lance didn’t answer immediately, so he felt the need to explain himself further. “He’s been bugging me a lot since we found out about… since we got back. Making sure I’m okay and all. That idiot’s more caring than he knows.” Shiro looks over to Lance, gauging his reaction. He’s greeted with a bright smile. Shiro smiles back, his cheeks growing warm. “And it’s not like I can keep these feelings pent up for much longer.”

 

“You’re comfortable telling him, then I’m comfortable telling him.” Lance stated. He and Shiro had been together for a while now, and there was no real point in keeping it hidden. Lance did take a second to worry though - the only other person who knew of his bisexuality was Hunk. The worry didn’t last at all. Shiro was out and proud, so why couldn’t he be too?

 

* * *

  
  


The couple found Keith exactly where they expected to. He was drilling some exercise for the umpteenth time, grunting with each full swing of his bayard.

 

Less expected, but still welcome, was Hunk, sitting off to the side of the room, a packed meal ready for when Keith finally decided to take a break. 

 

Lance and Shiro awkwardly dropped hands before entering the room, waiting for their presence to be noticed. Hunk quickly caught their eyes, smiled, and waved them over. 

 

Lance plopped down on the ground next to Hunk, glad to be with his friend. He sent a discreet look up at Shiro, silently asking if it was okay for Hunk to know too. Shiro smiled back, and moved to sit down next to the other two boys. 

 

At one point or another, Keith finally caught sight that two new people were in the room. He seemed a little frustrated as he called the training sequence off, but there was a lightness to his step as he strolled over to his teammates. 

 

Before Keith could ask what was up, Hunk handed him the packed food. Keith, not ready to eat yet, smiled and said “thanks.” He’d eat once the adrenaline from his training had gone down.

 

“So what brings you two here?” Hunk asked, especially surprised at Shiro, considering how busy he was these days. 

 

“Got the evening off,” Shiro shrugged casually, “Thought we might tell you something.”

 

Lance could feel the heat rising to his face once more. Oh. This was actually happening. And Shiro was being so  _ chill _ about it. God he loved that man.

 

Shiro glanced over at his boyfriend for approval to continue, and was greeted back with some wild, but clearly nervous, grinning. Shiro laughed affectionately in his head at the sight. Lance was clearly not going to be doing any of the announcing here. 

 

“Just wanted to let you guys know that Lance and I are dating.” Shiro’s words were full of confidence that Lance could only dream of. 

 

Keith just shook his head, almost hiding the approving smile that sat across his face. Hunk on the other hand was… well, Hunk. He swept Lance and Shiro up in one of those big bear hugs of his, tears starting to form in his eyes.

 

“Oh I’m so happy for you guys! Congratulations!” He let them go upon his next words. “I’m so proud of you man, you actually did it.”

 

Lance went to protest, to say that it wasn’t actually him that made the first move, but when he went to turn to Hunk, he realized he wasn’t actually speaking to him. 

 

“Wait.” Lance stopped any reply Shiro could give, and pointed a playfully accusing finger at Hunk. “You knew about this?”

 

“Uh, yeah. How do you think Shiro knew that you liked him?” Hunk stifled back a laugh. 

 

“Traitor. I told you not to tell anyone!”

 

“Hey, I think it turned out alright if you ask me.” Hunk shrugged, but did nothing to hide how proud he was of his actions.

 

Now Shiro was the one laughing. He threw his head back slightly, and let out a big belly laugh. He Hunk’s banter, proud of the support his teammates gave to the relationship. He smiled because of Keith, who felt the joy of the situation, but was a bit confused by it all. His joyful outburst continued because of Lance, the amazing man who had enabled him to feel this way again. He laughed because he hadn’t laughed like this in a long time. He hadn’t felt this great in as long as he could remember. 

 

Lance found himself staring at Shiro, entranced by the beauty of his laughter. From hearing him frequently shout and cry in the night, this was a welcome change, and a sight for sore eyes. And, eventually, he couldn’t help but laugh along with him. Lance could feel a new sense of ease wash over him. Keith and Hunk didn’t care that he was bi. Shiro didn’t worry about his scars. And most of all, Shiro loved him, and Lance loved him back.

 

Hunk needed to join in too, the joy of the event becoming suffocatingly contagious. Shiro, Lance, and Keith had all gone through their share of struggles, but they were still here to share this carefree moment. The tears welling up in his eyes started to fall, punctuating every happy laugh that flew from his lungs. He couldn’t be prouder of his friends. 

 

Keith couldn’t catch the bug of laughter that was going around, but it didn’t stop the huge smile that was plastered on his face. This was his team, his friends,  _ his family _ . They made it so far, and he was able to be here with them, accepted despite anything. Shiro, who believed in him against all odds, was here, laughing like he’d never seen before. Lance, his right hand man in battle and in life, had been able to get Shiro to let go enough to laugh like that again. And Hunk, who had helped him through more than he even knew. More than he might ever know.

 

The past few years had been rough on the paladins. The last few months, even more so. But that never stopped them from doing their best to pull the pieces back together when they fell apart. Nightmares were being quelled. Skills were being regained. Emotions were being repaired. Wounds were being healed. Friendships were being advanced. Relationships were being lived out. Events may have brought them to their lowest points, but it was okay. They came back from it stronger than ever. Because, after all, they recovered more than they’d lost.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading and joining me on this ride!  
> I really appreciate having y'all as an audience.  
> Anyways, that's all for now folks!

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading all!  
> The next chapter will get into how Lance has been doing, and how his relationship with Shiro has been developing.  
> Keith will be a-okay and will be present again eventually. He just needs his time to recover~


End file.
